Moving On with 'Moving On'

Took a trip down memory lane once again,though this time it happened quite unplanned on a Friday night when a friend from a distant past invited me over for an intimate post-birthday get-together. She and I had already started catching up on FB, and then months ago met up at a reunion with schoolmates. Even on such short notice, I couldn't pass up the chance to reconnect with another friend whom I hadn't seen since our chance run-in back in college.

I had but spent two years studying at the same school with them; on the other hand, my two friends graduated from high school together and had been a part of each other's lives for a lot longer, hence more familair with each other's histories of ups and downs.

Over heaps of pasta and nibbles of chocolates at my host's cozy condo unit, we caught up with what was going on with our other friends, laughed when we couldn't uncork the bottle of Beaujolais, posed for group shots, remembering at the same time an old photo of us when we were in the third grade. There was that funny moment where no one could recall whose little brother posed with us in the picture. We filled in the gaps for each other whenever trivial details were left out or mixed up. In the end we decided to let forgetfulness carry us through a profusion of memories. This is the year where we were all turning forty and we had just begun reflecting on life, each of us in varying degrees of transition.

After I gave an account of my post-marriage life, my host asked if I had moved on, maybe more than once. I said 'yes', though for an instant I pondered whether my response held a genuine conviction and was not merely self-motivating talk.

To me, "moving on" is a journey. At the far end of the continuum was my grappling with the realization of the loss of shared dreams and commitments, my rage as a woman scorned --- which fury hell hath no (borrowing Jack Sparrow's line). With the passing of time I am spared with a sanity that remains intact and faith that continues to grow. Under the current circumstances I am pushed to balance personal ambition and the obligations of being a single parent and a career woman.

Occasionally, I get stuck with anger or blame along the way, or grow restless to fill the void left by an unfaithful soul mate. However, once I am in the company of other women who have gone through a similar experience, I regain my focus. As with my numerous reunions with female friends as of late, the bonding with these two caring women revived and nurtured.


And so I added, I am in the middle of getting my life back on track. In fact, I made a step past moving on and instead, moved FORWARD, as I talk about my growing fondness for a male friend who acted as my stormbreaker. No need to label the relationship at the moment, I told them, but it was enough that finally I am beginning to feel alive and hopeful that better things can still and WILL unfold wherever the journey goes.

Who knows? Perhaps next time, our dinner conversation will overflow with scoops a of a budding romance.