Making Sense of 'What Oprah Knows For Sure'

"Replenish the well of yourself, for yourself first. And if you think there's no time to do that, what you're really saying is, "I have no life to give to or live for myself." And if you have no life to live for yourself, then why are you here?"

This seemingly selfish-sounding statement actually comes from a contemporary American celebrity who has accomplished so much and given away so much - Oprah Winfrey.

I know a number of people complaining that they have no life, who would be lucky to even get four hours of sleep in their own bed, and whose structured lives are outlined by the details of their journal/daytimer. Incidentally, these are people who run businesses, manage teams, or take charge of an enterprise.

And while I envy them for their acquired status and the achievements that came with all the sweat and labor they put into their career, still I would not dare set my ambitions far too high that I would sacrifice precious time for the things I hold dear.

I am perfectly comfortable with my 40-hr work week. I strive to maintain the balance between family and work. I am competent enough to be trusted with challenging tasks and responsibilities. Yet many of my expectations remain unfulfilled. I end up wishing I could be more and that I could have done more.

I wonder, to what does Oprah owe the magnitude of her success? She couldn't have arrived at this point of her career thinking of replenishing herself first? Could her fortune have turned out differently if she were saddled with marriage and a family?

Connections With The Past

I became a member of a popular online social networking website just recently and I was surprised at how easily I was able to find old friends and acquaintances from my distant past. I have lost touch with these people long before the use of chatrooms and cellphones flourished.

Responding to "How are you?" leaves me feeling quite sure about where I should start. With the change of marital status and family roles, of home and email addresses, of jobs held, and of the personal circumstances of my life, I simply could not think of a few sentences to bridge the difference between how they knew me and how I am now. Too much history to catch up with.

Unpleasant memories have also sprung up the moment I locate a faintly familiar name. Then I'd mull over clicking "Add As Friend", because the petty misunderstandings, heartbreak, and eventually indifference, were what kept the distance between this person and me. I'd let a day or two pass, then move on to invite the recipient, deciding that I should not take offence if he or she refuses.

And finally, once I learn of how fortune has deemed others more deserving than me, that's when the sense of lack and inadequacy feeds my inner critic. Couldn't I have enjoyed a little more career success? Seen more of the world? Gain more noteworthy achievements?

Admittedly, these feelings do pass, but all together are just a twinge and disappear underneath the wave of nostalgia and the eagerness to hear happy tales.

I have lived in 7 cities in one country and 3 states in another. What goes with having changed so many addresses in a lifetime, along with packing and unpacking my possessions, is dealing with the flood of suppressed memories when the past starts to catch up with me.