I Wasn’t Aware That He Wrote About Mushy Stuff

 

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

- C. S. Lewis

Weekend Musings: 9.23.12

 

“There's a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy …” so the famous line from the movie “Milk Money” goes. That was a line I gave a male friend asking for tips to keep a newfound relationship smokin’ hot. Then I told him to go figure the rest out.

Physically, emotionally, or even sexually? – the barrage of follow-up questions came.

I silently reflected on my experiences. Having been emotionally emancipated from a failed marriage for almost three years now, I have become content to remain in ‘single blessedness’ for a while longer.

How wonderful it would be to bask in the feeling of newfound love ---  much more, to even find someone as smart, sensitive, and talented as the guy asking me these questions. Meeting that someone who would touch me in a way that would drive me CRAZY would be a cosmic event that would definitely rock my universe.

But knowing I didn’t even have enough background information to fuel the chemistry between a once divorced 30-year-old guy dating a (am assuming single) 26-year-old, I resorted to sharing from conventional wisdom.

Bio clock is going tick-tock, I added.

So what is important at this age? Is the sex drive high? he wanted to know. I didn’t think insights from the cougar revolution would be relevant to the discussion at this point so I plainly answered:

Know what she needs…and expects from you, I advised.

Love is what I figured, came the reply. Kudos to my beloved friend, who has gotten himself back on the horse.

So much for words of the wise(ass). It has taken me a while to figure out what I’d need to stay happy…happily uncomplicated, that is.

Walking in Mary Embry's Shoes

I had to look up this name using Google to identify the suburban housewife played by Charlize Theron in the movie "Hancock". Not only was I drawn to Theron's stunning kind of beauty I was also fascinated by the superhuman powers secretly possessed by this character. Talk about a powerful being whose anger could conjure a twister and could crush boulders as if they were lumps of sugar.

The actress once described Mary this way,

"She makes this conscious decision to live in suburbia and be this soccer mom to her stepson and be the perfect wife—she lives in this bubble. But when people do that it usually means they are hiding some characteristic inside themselves that scares them. That is Mary's case. She knows who she is and what she is capable of."

However, it turns out that she loses her powers whenever she is close to the lead, Hancock, who likewise becomes vulnerable under the same condition.

Women seem to be at their weakest when they are with the men that they love, easily hurt and wounded whenever they are attacked. And though men, like Hancock, instinctively protect, they do not seem to realize that it's their presence in women's lives that make females feel more defenseless.

And while it seems that we women may learn how to fight battles better in the absence of men, it is not expected that a woman is applauded for bearing arms if it made her male partner look like he failed to keep her safe.

Maybe the story has a hint of sexist overtones. Or maybe not.

It's just that, the part about Mary possessing all of her strength when she is distant from her destined mate got me thinking. If that is the case, then why is it necessary (at least, why do I think it is) to ever feel like we need a partner to feel safe?