Though having moved houses so many times in my entire life, it was the most recent move that brought me through so much sadness, anger, frustration, and loathing. Never had sorting and organizing become so taxing as I went through 12 years of marriage represented by photo albums and frames, old cards and letters, wedding gifts, wedding anniversary gifts, and personal stuff my ex husband left behind.
Among the things I discarded include a kicking foam pad used for muay thai practice, a few formal outfits (one of which was his coat worn at our wedding) and CD player that he won in a raffle at an office Christmas party.
From the kitchen, I tossed out mugs and plates that we had used back when it was just the two of us at home.
I've long held on to my daughter’s old things, but since I couldn’t risk having them waste away in storage, I carefully picked out a few but cherished items. As I went through my daughter’s old clothes, baby toys and board books, my mind sealed off the memories my ex husband and I shared in her early years and instead thought about how he’d no longer be around for her.
It’s been a year and a half since my daughter and I moved to new apartment after the breakup of my marriage. In that span of time, I worked on getting rid of anything that reminded me of that old life. Some pieces of furniture or appliance stayed, but that was only because I didn’t want to spend for a complete household makeover. What counts is that our moving out commences the more tedious process of moving on to rebuild our lives.
1 comment:
I think I understand how you feel. My stepmom once gave me some pictures. She said my dad couldn't bring himself to look at them because they represented a really sad time in his life (when my mom left him). She didn't want to throw them away. Although he had moved on and remarried, it was difficult to go back there. On the other side, God is the strength that keeps you moving on and not living in the past.
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