Though having moved houses so many times in my entire life, it was the most recent move that brought me through so much sadness, anger, frustration, and loathing. Never had sorting and organizing become so taxing as I went through 12 years of marriage represented by photo albums and frames, old cards and letters, wedding gifts, wedding anniversary gifts, and personal stuff my ex husband left behind.
Among the things I discarded include a kicking foam pad used for muay thai practice, a few formal outfits (one of which was his coat worn at our wedding) and CD player that he won in a raffle at an office Christmas party.
From the kitchen, I tossed out mugs and plates that we had used back when it was just the two of us at home.
I've long held on to my daughter’s old things, but since I couldn’t risk having them waste away in storage, I carefully picked out a few but cherished items. As I went through my daughter’s old clothes, baby toys and board books, my mind sealed off the memories my ex husband and I shared in her early years and instead thought about how he’d no longer be around for her.
It’s been a year and a half since my daughter and I moved to new apartment after the breakup of my marriage. In that span of time, I worked on getting rid of anything that reminded me of that old life. Some pieces of furniture or appliance stayed, but that was only because I didn’t want to spend for a complete household makeover. What counts is that our moving out commences the more tedious process of moving on to rebuild our lives.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
What Oprah Knows For Sure
(I do not own this piece. The link is found at the end of the article.)
WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE
I am more aware of time now than I have ever been. Something about turning 50 does that to you, I guess.
I feel an almost primal awareness in the core of myself that there's a finite amount of time left, and that feeling permeates everything I do and dictates how I react in every moment. I'm more conscious and appreciative of every experience, every awakening (gee, I'm still here; I get another chance today to get it right). I try to take them all in, even the negative ones, and see how they relate back to something I created: I believe nothing is happening out of order with yourself.
I take the time, even if it's only one minute in the morning, to breathe slowly and let myself feel the connection to all other breathing and vibrating energies in this world and beyond. I have found that recognizing your relationship to infinity makes the finite more palatable.
What I know for sure is that how you spend your time defines who you are.
I try not to waste time—because I don't want to waste myself. I'm working on not letting people with dark energy consume any of my time. I've learned that the hard way, after giving up hours of myself and my time, which are synonymous when you think about it. I've learned from my experiences of getting sucked into other people's ego dysfunction that their darkness casts a shadow on the light you need to be for yourself and for others.
What I know for sure is that giving yourself time to just be and not do is essential to fulfilling your mission as a human being. I give myself Sundays. Sometimes I spend the whole day in my pajamas, sometimes I have church under the trees communing with nature…most times I just do nothing—piddling, I call it—and let my brain and body decompress from six days of nonstop mental bombardment. If I didn't do that, I would implode, literally, in a crazy psychic breakdown. And whenever I've slipped up and missed a Sunday, I've noticed a definite change in my disposition for the rest of the week. I know for sure that you cannot give and give and give to everybody else and not give back to yourself. You will end up empty, or at best less than what you can be for yourself and your family and your work. Replenish the well of yourself, for yourself first. And if you think there's no time to do that, what you're really saying is, "I have no life to give to or live for myself." And if you have no life to live for yourself, then why are you here?
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/200404/omag_200404_mission.jhtml
WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE
I am more aware of time now than I have ever been. Something about turning 50 does that to you, I guess.
I feel an almost primal awareness in the core of myself that there's a finite amount of time left, and that feeling permeates everything I do and dictates how I react in every moment. I'm more conscious and appreciative of every experience, every awakening (gee, I'm still here; I get another chance today to get it right). I try to take them all in, even the negative ones, and see how they relate back to something I created: I believe nothing is happening out of order with yourself.
I take the time, even if it's only one minute in the morning, to breathe slowly and let myself feel the connection to all other breathing and vibrating energies in this world and beyond. I have found that recognizing your relationship to infinity makes the finite more palatable.
What I know for sure is that how you spend your time defines who you are.
I try not to waste time—because I don't want to waste myself. I'm working on not letting people with dark energy consume any of my time. I've learned that the hard way, after giving up hours of myself and my time, which are synonymous when you think about it. I've learned from my experiences of getting sucked into other people's ego dysfunction that their darkness casts a shadow on the light you need to be for yourself and for others.
What I know for sure is that giving yourself time to just be and not do is essential to fulfilling your mission as a human being. I give myself Sundays. Sometimes I spend the whole day in my pajamas, sometimes I have church under the trees communing with nature…most times I just do nothing—piddling, I call it—and let my brain and body decompress from six days of nonstop mental bombardment. If I didn't do that, I would implode, literally, in a crazy psychic breakdown. And whenever I've slipped up and missed a Sunday, I've noticed a definite change in my disposition for the rest of the week. I know for sure that you cannot give and give and give to everybody else and not give back to yourself. You will end up empty, or at best less than what you can be for yourself and your family and your work. Replenish the well of yourself, for yourself first. And if you think there's no time to do that, what you're really saying is, "I have no life to give to or live for myself." And if you have no life to live for yourself, then why are you here?
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/200404/omag_200404_mission.jhtml
In the madness of everyday existence, the retreat into quiet solitude is when the moment's troubles stop. Tearing through to-do lists and the next day's resolutions, the mind becomes stilled upon reaching the nest of memories. Be it of pleasure or pain, the revisited experience echoes life's lessons.
The voice from our past, whether our own or that of our mentor, is what keeps us steady. And coming back to the present, we become settled with the world once again.
The voice from our past, whether our own or that of our mentor, is what keeps us steady. And coming back to the present, we become settled with the world once again.
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